You made me cry and you don't even care
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
