butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
