I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
