Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Congratulations! We have a period
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