you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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