im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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