that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
false alarm. still invincible.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
