It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
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There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
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He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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