don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
