when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
