i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
