Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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