When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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