only if we run a train.
done.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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