I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
