cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize