she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
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I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
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Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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