After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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