Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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