was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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