Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Your shirt... Was in my pants
how drunk are you?
Several
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
