Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just blew my weed a kiss
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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