we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
