She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so let's talk penis.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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