how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
from now on my penis is your penis
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
