I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
