I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
