you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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