I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Text me some of your sweat
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