You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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