i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
