i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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