i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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