Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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