when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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