nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
