I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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