Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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