so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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