you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
