I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
