How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
