So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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