he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
