How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
