just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
