NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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