finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize