I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
