did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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