Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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