We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
