This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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