separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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