if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
