I just saw a hot homeless man
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
