I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
