My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I did not marry a roomba.
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