I heard we made out
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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