Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
